yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
