You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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