he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
