For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
