Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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