I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
