I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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