Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
