I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just want nice things and good sex
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
