Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
