I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
