The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
