your thong is hanging out like whoa
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
