How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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