That's intense
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
