matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
