haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
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Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
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Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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