I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
