saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
birth control should be required to get into college
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Is Oprah even human
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
