Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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