I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
