I am midnight drunk by noon
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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