You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
