I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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