chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize