Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
