Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize