I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
