Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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