Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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