I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
