boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
