Duck Duck Cougar?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
