you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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