Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
