I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
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I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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