Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize