had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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