Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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