she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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