This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Dick very happy bro
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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