wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We have started to decorate penises.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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