can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
