if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
