Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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