Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
