woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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