none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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