Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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