Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
