Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
