HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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