I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
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