Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
