Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize