do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
