He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you win again, gameday.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
