I hate all girls vehemently.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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