I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
