I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He shit in the fireplace
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
