I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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